You win some, you lose some...

After the most amazing weekend, we had a little bit of a setback.  My boob issues have gotten a little worse -- so much so that I have been put on antibiotics.  Which means there is a very real/high risk of getting thrush.  Again.  It's like a revolving nightmare.  I've tried to cut out refined sugars so that the stupid yeast have no excuse for thriving.  I found this Dimpflmeier bread made without yeast.  It's so good, I've been getting my carb fix from that.  I'm basically afraid to eat anything besides boiled eggs, fish and chicken with salad. 

On the bright side, I've been working on the boyz' latches, which seem to have improved.  Especially LM's. 

Another appointment at the Doctor's Breastfeeding Clinic this morning.  It is blowing snow, crazy windy.  Here's to a safe drive...

BTW, I thank God everyday for my mother.  She has been living with us and helping us with the babies.  Man, I love her!!!

Family Weekend Recap

Friday - Went for a walk with the boyz for an hour by myself and then a quick drive before a couple of friends came by.

Saturday - Brunch with in-laws, visit to friends house, off to sister's house, home and exhausted by 9...

Sunday - Off to the mall for a quick tour of stores and an orange juice.

Monday - Epic walk down at the lakeshore/Port Credit area, visit from friends

Best. Weekend. So. Happy.

I finally feel like I'm part of the world again.  I'm mobile, albeit tied down by 3 hr feeding intervals, but still, I feel like I have the strength to actually go out.  I need that so badly.

Life is coming back to me....

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

First Walk Since December 27, 2010....

hahahahahaha!!!

Yesterday was our first epic walk and I so needed it.  It refreshed and revitalized me.  I cannot explain how much of a mood lift it was.  Up until now, everytime I go out, it's been for a purpose.  Mainly to go to the doctor.  But grocery shopping, to get a coffee, etc.  And to be honest, it's so not worth hearing the crying whenever I put the boyz in the car seats! But because I was putting them in the stroller, I didn't tighten the straps as much as I would normally and they boyz were nice and calm. 

The weather was mild and all the snow was melting.  We went for a walk with the boyz' 5 week old cousin and it was so worth it.  Boyz and mommies were happy!

The boob pain is subsiding slowly.  There are some weak times for me but it is becoming more and more bearable.  I am so thankful.  I've also cut down on the time of feeds to 12 minutes from 15 and have noticed less spit up from the boyz (but they still are) and I've also started to wake them a few minutes before the actual 3 hr mark.  This has resulted in a very calm feed, rather than the desperado crying and sucking that's been going on.

I'm alone today but have another friend coming over for a quick visit.  This weekend is full, with my in-laws coming to make brunch (mmm pancakes!) and then hopefully a visit with my gorgeous niece, whom I have not seen in at least a month (my heart breaks!).

Smiles

Sometimes the only solace you can sink yourself into is the uninitiated, spontaneous smile by a baby.  Especially when you are exhausted and in pain.  Such are those times when I have to nurse and am in pain but know that at the end, I might get a smile from one of my sons.  It is by far the best feeling.  It doesn't take away the pain, but it definitely makes it more bearable.

Little Big Man (LBM) gives us those smiles all the time now.  If you talk to him and smile, he will smile back.  It's been happening for a solid week now and it's so worth waiting for!

As for my body, I have been steadily losing weight, even though I have been eating.  I would like to run in a 10K in May but the thought of exercising is honestly frightening.  I can't even imagine moving my body right now, especially since I can't even bounce up and down without having to hold my breasts still.  Yesterday was an anomaly, I hardly ate because I was constantly with one of the boys, either holding or consoling them.  I didn't get a break and when my mother came home, I was so relieved.

Resolutions...

I don't even know why I make them.  I've already broken one.  I realise that January has only 2 posts.  But can that please be an indicator as to how little time I have had to type.  Beyond that though, even if I get 2 minutes, I can't even think about how to formulate sentences properly!

My brain is on hold.... but everyday, it's getting a little easier, a little better and I'm feeling more and more adjusted to this whole nursing thing.  At some point, I know I'll probably get my brain back.

And so it goes...

... I guess it just doesn't stop.  It's go go go and there is no end...

It's official, I have thrush.  I also have purple hands and boobs and my sons have purple tongues and mouths from a herbal remedy called Gentian Violet.  It has stained everything including the faces of my poor sons. 

When I went to a breastfeeding clinic a couple of weeks ago, I was told that one of my sons might have a yeast infection in his mouth. Since we were going to the doctor in a couple of days for a check up, we decided to ask about it then.  She ended up giving us medication to treat just him, and not the other. Or myself.  Which is extremely short-sighted thinking. Especially since I am exclusively nursing both of them.  Which would mean that the three of us are exchanging basically everything.  So I ended up with yeast myself.

But of course, I didn't even know it.  All I knew was for two weeks, I was in excruciating pain after not being in pain or discomfort before. 

I went to a different clinic and they gave me some medication for my breasts and the Gentian Violet.

What else could happen? Everytime something happens, I get a little more discouraged but I'm trying to keep my chin up.  I'm gonna keep breastfeeding.  It's that one little selfish thing I can continue and share with the boys.